


Professional Delinquents

by Eramia



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Alternate Universe - K/DA (League of Legends), Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Family Feels, Family Issues, Family Secrets, KDAWEEK, Pre-K/DA, Sloppy Makeouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-10 04:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19899826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eramia/pseuds/Eramia
Summary: Teenagers have it rough. Pressure from the older generation to continue their legacy while seeking an identity of their own is no easy feat. Breaking away from it all is nigh impossible. But Akali, Evelynn, and Kai'Sa get such a chance to redefine themselves when Ahri seeks to recruit them as a part of her new KPOP girl group, K/DA. Trying to separate yourself from your old life might cause trouble, but these girls are professional delinquents.





	1. Neon/Shadows

This city is home to a lot of things.

Celebrities, leaders, influencers.

I think influencers is the non-shitty way of putting it, at least.

Beneath this city’s glitzy lights are those who work in the shadows to keep the natural order. Sure, there’s cops, but we all know they’re dumbasses who can’t tell their dick from their gun. They’re useless. They’re corruptible. They don’t do shit to keep harmony. But that’s where The Kinkou Order steps in.

I was born into the largest street gang in the entire country. My mother is the renowned Fist of Shadow, a title I had planned on taking when she retires. She, among others, would protect the streets of the city, keeping peace and order. When I was little I always thought we were like superheroes. We were the good guys. We weren’t like everyone else, easily manipulated, at the whim of our own desires. As soon as we were old enough, we were put through intense, rigorous training, coming out on the other side as acolytes and warriors, able to mediate conflict or snuff it out through force if necessary.

You can probably guess what my mom is known for.

Everything was fine until recently. An old member of ours threw a bloody coup and split The Kinkou Order apart. I was young when it happened. My mom took me away with her. My dad died. We returned to find that we were kicked out of our Homebase, a temple, by the new rival order: The Order of Shadows.

The Kinkou still exists but (excuse the shitty pun) we’re a shadow of our former self. Not nearly as many members. And worse, The Order of Shadows is gaining more control of the city by day. I haven’t even taken on the title of Fist of Shadow yet but I’ve already started to realize how bullshit everything is. Nothing changes if you keep catering to unreasonable pricks. Think those dickwads in The Order of Shadows are interested in negotiations? They’re exactly the kind of unbalance The Kinkou Order needs to correct.

And if you ask me? You have to force it to happen.

But since our old master was killed in the coup, we got a new one. My friend, Shen, the Eye of Twilight, he doesn’t believe in forcing things to happen which irritates the hell out of me. The Shadow Order could be handled so EASILY if we just fought them head-on. But he’s against the idea and apparently against me getting myself involved.

Tough shit for him. You can’t stop what you don’t outright advocate for.

If he’s so against fighting The Order of Shadows, why’s he meeting them tonight?

Shen didn’t say shit to anyone, not even to me. Why the fuck is he hiding it?

I hear a voice hiss, “Akali, what are we doing here?” and I can’t keep myself from jumping, kicking the alley wall in front of me.

“Dammit, Kennen!” I hiss back, tucking myself back behind the garbage cans at the edge of the alleyway, “You scared the shit out of me!”

“Sorry,” the masked figure says, eyes glinting at me in the dark as he nestled next to me, “What’s happening?”

I shove him over a bit. “The fuck are you here for?”

Kennen blinks, surprised. “I wanted to come! Why are you following Shen?”

My palm launches out, covering his mouth. “Can it, dumbass!” I snap.

I love Kennen, he’s like a little brother to me. As two years his senior, I gotta guide this dorky tween, y’know? But right now, he’s a nuisance, especially because you don’t even hear him half the time. Little shit can hide in plain sight.

“You weren’t supposed to follow me,” I told him, “This is big kid stuff.”

“Mmf nmm mff molmfrr mnn mm,” he shot back.

I sighed and removed my hand.

“You’re not that much older than me,” he repeated, “and anyways, isn’t this dangerous?”

“I need to know what Shen is hiding from us,” I said, “He can’t hide the truth from us forever.”

Kennen joined the Order as a kid. He doesn’t talk much about his home life but he supposedly doesn’t have his family anymore. He ran away I think. We’re all he’s got.

“I don’t think Shen is hiding anything from us,” he said, “I trust him.”

“Of course you’d say that. You don’t understand what’s happening now. You’re just a little kid.”

“Am not!” He pushed me. Little shit doesn’t know what he got himself into.

“Are too!” I push him back and he loses his balance. It’s pure luck that he didn’t knock anything over.

Dammit. I hurt his feelings, didn’t I.

“Sorry, little dude. I didn’t mean to—“

I only stop because I hear Shen’s voice.

Suddenly Kennen and I are both rapt with attention.

He wasn’t speaking to us, thank god. My heart was about to pound out of my chest. I’m sure Kennen felt the same way. It only got worse when we saw who he was talking to.

The backstreet is abandoned, except for us, and dark. Shen is standing right in the middle of the road, without fear it seems. We hear a voice call out his name as a figure walks down the street from the opposite direction. He’s backlit so we can’t see anything else but his hulking form. In a poetic sort of way, it’s like he’s cloaked in shadow.

“Zed,” Shen greeted, coldly.

“Shen,” he greeted in return, but not as stoic. If anything, he seemed pleased, smug even.

He wasn’t alone. Behind him was another boy, y’all got his age.

“Who’s that?” Kennen asked.

I recognized him. That was Kayn. Hot, but not really my type. He’s a pretty big member in The Order of Shadows, probably because he’s batshit insane, and he’s also a loyal follower of Zed.

“You don’t need to know,” I told Kennen. I didn’t feel like explaining everything to him.

Besides, why was Shen meeting with Zed?

“We should go, Akali,” Kennen whispered and I missed some of what they said. Sounded like Shen was trying to negotiate? Of course he would. Zed was laughing him off too. “It’s too dangerous.”

“You should go,” I told him, “This isn’t for little kids!”

“You still are a kid!” he pointed out. He got me there.

“Get out of here,” I told him again, giving him a nudge.

“No way! Not without you.” He pushed me back. Now I’m mad.

I pushed him back without even looking at him. He’s tiny enough that his face can fit in the palm of my hand, I just learned. That was a little aggressive, I’ll admit, but he was getting on my nerves.

But he’s faster than lightning and it wasn’t until his head connected with my chin and my head with the trash can I was hiding behind that I realized we fucked up. Badly.

When we both looked up, all three of them were staring at us. Shen was obviously disappointed. Zed looked amused in his holier than thou way. Kayn, following in his footsteps, looked the same.

Shen sighed. “Step out, you two”

We did.

Kayn sneers, “Hiding behind children now, Shen? Didn’t feel safe so you asked for a lookout? That’s so like you.”

Shen simply remarks, “You were a child once too, Kayn. Didn’t you just turn 18?”

Kayn looked like Shen kicked his legs out from underneath him. Serves him right for his big mouth, anyway. “Shut up!” he spat.

Zed, however, wasn’t looking at Shen or Kayn. He was looking at us. “Come here, children,” he said.

Kennen’s only 13, he didn’t know any better when he began to move, slowly, but I grabbed his arm and said, “Hell no.”

“Zed, what are you doing?” Shen asked. He was pretty great at staying stoic and shit, but even I could tell that he didn’t like what was happening.

“Nothing outside of my jurisdiction,” he said.

I spoke up, “Hey, man, lay off.”

He craned his head towards me and I say it like because there was almost something bird-like in his movements. The way he was eyeing us like a bird of prey before making his move.

It pisses me the fuck off.

“Oh? And you think you’re in a position to tell me what to do?’

Suddenly he jerked his neck towards us, a signal, and as his right-hand man, Kayn came for us. But I’m not stupid.

I told you, this guy’s insane. I see the knife he has, he swings it overhead, trying to bring it down on me (because I’m closest) and slash across my body. What. The Actual. Fuck. Is he trying to just teach me a lesson or kill me?!

But I’m quick, see. He’s open, exposed, and I got a pocketknife of my own, so while he’s swinging overhead? Whoosh. Not even there. Already gone. I duck under his arm, whip out my own knife, and aim for his ribs. The blade catches some light from the streetlamps, glistening briefly like a flash of neon among the shadows. I thought it looked cool, but it quickly disappeared, into his side.

He stops and shouts, going rigid with pain. Shen pulls me back before I can do anything else. My pocketknife falls to the ground with a clatter.

“Harming a child, Zed,” Shen scolded, clearly alarmed, “How can you stoop to such lows?”

Kayn staggers back to his side, clutching his ribs. “I’m fine, Zed. Just a poke.”

I spit in his direction.

Zed’s lip curled. “You don’t see it now, Shen, but that’s alright. Secrets kept are weapons wasted after all. You ought to use everyone you got. In The Order of Shadows it doesn’t matter how young or old they are. Anyone who can hold a weapon can hold their own.”

Kennen comes up behind me. He’s hiding behind Shen and I. I almost wish he wasn’t hearing this.

“Zed. They are children. You are creating child-warriors, but to what end?” I’m sure whatever peace negotiations Shen was after were pretty much ruined now.

Zed pulls out out no weapon from his coat pockets but his fists. “No more talk. These negotiations are pointless,” he said and pounced on Shen.

“Shen, watch out!” Kennen cried.

I would have butted in but Shen’s fast, y’know, and he pushed Kennen and I out of the way, and took a blow for us.

“Go! Hide in the shadows,” he ordered us.

“No way,” I told him.

They were expert martial artists. Each gang controls a major dojo in town. But steel beats callused knuckles, so I dive for my pocket knife only to be pulled back again, this time by Kennen.

“Leave it, let’s go,” he urged.

“Hell, no! Get back here, runts,” Kayn shouts.

I open my mouth to shout but our ears are pierced by sirens wailing from the streets. Neon blue and red lights dance across the walls. This wouldn’t be my first time confronting the police, but with everyone else? In the middle of a gang matter? Yeah, I’d say I’m scared for what that could mean. So when Shen told us to run? I grabbed Kennen and disappearing into the shadows without a second thought.

  
  


“Akali, what should we do?”

Dammit, Kennen not now.

I’m trying hard not to snap at the kid, but honestly? I’m about to lose it.

I have my fists digging in my pockets. I wanna tear the whole thing to shreds.

“Forget about them, Kennen, they’ll be fine.”

“But what if they get arrested?”

Okay. I can’t take his whiny voice anymore. And the thought of Shen getting arrested scares me.

I whip around to face him. “Well go home if you’re so worried about him then!”

He looks taken aback. His hood is up but I can his eyes above his mask, shining.

“Go! Get the fuck out of here, Kennen! Leave me alone!”

I really shouldn’t have done that.

He’s a tough kid, but I know I hurt his feelings. I’ll have to apologize later.

He stiffens his lips. “Fine,” he said, “But only to make sure Shen gets home.”

And he turns tail and runs. Maybe I should’ve run after him. I dunno. I don’t know shit.

I fucking hate this.

“Dammit!” I start swearing a bunch. I kick a soda can into the street and it rattles, empty, pathetic. The rolling tin gave me an idea.

  
  


I picked up a backpack from a friend’s house. It’s got spray paint in it, loads of it. I keep it there because otherwise Shen would have my ass if he knew I did this.

Hell, there’s a lot I do that he doesn’t know. I try to keep it that way.

When I’m pissed I like to paint shit. I’d say I’m pretty good at it. I go find a wall or whatever, I get out the cans, I spend all night making art. I know people think graffiti ain’t shit, but it’s called street art for a reason. Don’t mean to brag, but I’m the reason they call it art.

Only this time, there’s no wall. No abandoned building, no functioning building, not even under a bridge. I’m not interested in any of that. You know that saying about how you don’t know what you want until you see it? Yeah. It’s like that.

I saw this car while stalking the city. It’s sleek, modern, and best of all, the weirdest color a car could come in: magenta. It’s expensive as shit, had to be custom made. Normally I’d be impressed with whoever had it. It was parked outside some fancy restaurant. I recognized the owner instantly. She’s a girl around my age, a famous American child actress, Evelynn, with two n’s. I watch her as she steps out of the car. You could hardly believe she’s 17 with how mature she dresses. Skin-tight stuff, makeup, stiletto heels, all of it probably designer.

She doesn’t notice me as she walks past. I see her enter the restaurant where everything is champagne colored. People greet her, those who don’t stare at her. She’s loved. She’s happy. She doesn’t have to prove she’s top shit, she just is.

I hate that.

Before I can even think, there’s already a spray can in my hand and my reflection in her driver’s window. I don’t even get very far in my painting before I hear some ungodly shrieking and furious clicking heading my way.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

I whip around and there she is. All composure, poof. Gone.

“Whoa, chill--”

“Chill?! This is destruction of property, you street mutt!”

“Wait up. Street mutt? What’s your problem, bitch, think you’re better than me?”

“Listen, here--”

“Nah, I don’t gotta listen to shit, ya fuckin’ diva--”

“Diva?!”

“Yeah, bitch, you’re losing your shit--”

“And why’s that, mutt?”

“I dunno,” I shrugged, “Maybe it’s ‘cuz of this!”

Before I even process it, I’m holding out the can of brightly colored spray paint and I’m painting her dress. She’s shrieking again and coughing. I don’t know what got into me tonight, but damn it felt pretty good.

Until sirens join in on her wailing. Fuck.

Police take me and pin me over the hood of her car before I can even cuss them out, holding my head down. I can hear the girl crying and hyperventilating. People run out to comfort her. She’s the one swearing up a storm instead. I almost feel bad as they take me away.

  
  


“Hello?”

“Hi...Shen.”

“Akali? Is that you?”

My mouth feels dry. “Yeah.”

“Where are you calling from? Is everything alright?”

He almost sounds scared, I think. I guess that makes sense after everything that happened. “The...the police station,” I admit.

“The police station?” he says. I hear him go quiet before he orders me, “Akali, what happened?”

“I...I, uh...look, it’s my fault, okay? I’m sorry, can you just come get me?”

“No. First, tell me what happened.”

“I fucked up, okay? I don’t wanna talk about it, can you just get me and we can go home?”

“Not until you tell me what you did.”

I don’t know why I lost my thunder suddenly. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to tell him about my secret habit. Maybe I’m just embarrassed. Yeah, he’s scolding me like a big brother or whatever. Not gonna lie, he also sounds scared.

“Akali,” he says, “Just...are you hurt? Did you get in a fight?”

“No, no,” I tell him, “Nah, it was nothing like that.”

I hear him quietly sigh with relief from the other end. “Then what did you do.”

“I…” Better just suck it up. “I may have spray painted a girl’s car.”

Silence from the other end. Then, “You graffitied someone’s car.” He said this plainly, like it’s a fact. I mean, it is, but he’s just so emotionless sometimes.

“And got caught, yeah, can you just pick me up?”

“Put me on the phone with the police officer.”

“What?”

“I want to speak to the officer.”

I huff. “Fine.” I call the guy over and hand over the phone, reluctantly. I can’t hear Shen but this guy isn’t giving me much to go off either.

“Yes, I understand. Okay, here she is.”

The phone gets handed back to me.

“What was that about?” I ask.

“Listen, this is for your own good--” he begins to say. I don’t wanna hear that.

“Is this about what happened earlier? Look, I’m sorry for following you. I’m glad you didn’t get arrested. What happened?”

He pauses, like he’s thinking of whether or not to tell me. “No one was arrested, Akali. I think you understand what an arrest on either side would have done.”

I nod. Things would go to shit. An arrest of our leader is bad for obvious reasons, but if Zed got arrested? His followers are loyal but they’re evangelical-level crazy. Who knows what they would have done in his name.

“I’ll come pick you up tomorrow.”

This caught me off-guard. “What.”

“You’re going to be put in a holding cell for the night. This is your punishment for earlier.”

“Hey, hold on. Why not just make me run laps around the dojo or whatever? Why do I gotta stay here?”

“Because, quite honestly, you are a more a danger to yourself than anyone else. Hopefully, this will teach you a lesson. I don’t expect you to understand.”

“Yeah, because what you’re saying is absolute bullshit--”

“Good night, Akali.”

“Hey, wait--”

He hung up.

I slam the phone back in the receiver, cursing, alarming the guard who I’m pretty sure is already sick and tired of my shit. I thought all they’d do was fine me or whatever. Now I’m in jail with a bail set on my head.

No use fighting the guard as he drags me away, but damn, am I considering it.

  
  


They can force me into this cell but they can’t force me to sleep.

I think I spent most of the night steaming over Shen’s asshole move and The Kinkou Order. I cooled down by breakfast a bit, but then when breakfast’s shit, I get pissed again. Even if it’s just a holding cell they still treat me like I’m in jail. It sucks.

Noon rolls around and the guard tells me I have a visitor. Must be Shen coming to pick me up.

Hell, he’s gonna get it now.

I start thinking about ways to get back at him, what to say, what to do. Maybe I’ll spray paint his room or something. I dunno, I’m pissed, I’m wild, I wanna wreck shit!

They sit me at one of those talking windows in the detention center. I’m all fired up. I feel like I have a knife stashed in my mouth, I’m gonna let him have it.

But then he isn’t there.

Instead, it’s a girl I recognize.

Not the one from last night if that’s what you’re thinking, but she’s pretty famous. Sitting on the other side of the glass is Ahri, a pretty famous bubblegum pop star who makes guilty pleasure pop songs. She’s like seventeen, I think? She’s two years older than me but looks younger.

I’m surprised nobody is crowding her, but this is a police station after all and we’re all alone.

“Akali, right?” she says.

“Yeah,” I say slowly, “You’re not Shen.”

“Who?”

I shake my head. “Nevermind.”

He didn’t even fucking show up. Am I a joke to him?

I get up from the chair. “Sorry, you weren’t who I was expecting.”

“Wait!” she exclaims, looking frantic all of a sudden, “Don’t you wanna talk to me?”

I give her an unamused look. “I got bigger things to worry about right now.”

“Okay, um, let me rephrase that. I want to talk to you.”

I hesitate. What in the world could she want with me? Reluctantly, I sit back down.

“Alright. What’s up?”

“My name is Ahri (in case you didn’t know).” I knew. “I wanted to recruit you.”

“Whoa, recruit me? For what?”

She looks smug now, like in a ‘I’m glad you asked’ sort of way. “I’m making a girl group! And I want you to join!”

Hold up. This is just too much.

“I’m sorry, what?”

She giggles. “It’s okay, I understand. So much good stuff happening all at the same time! It’s overwhelming.”

It really isn’t. More confusing than anything. Does she think I can sing?

“Uh, sorry, but I don’t think I can match your...vibe.”

“No, no, let me explain! My vibe is exactly what I want to change.” She leaned in now, like she’s telling a secret or some shit. “I’m tired of singing the same stuff over and over. I wanna do something new! I’m getting older, Akali, it’s time for me to grow up.”

“Uh-huh…Look, that’s cool and all but--”

“You’re a really good rapper, aren’t you?”

Huh. Charming, isn’t she.

“Uh, I dunno if I’d say ‘really good’.”

She pulls out her phone, shows me a video, and I almost lose it.

So, sometimes I like to rap, right? And the streets are the perfect place for that shit. We’ll battle, y’know, like a free for all.

Apparently, somebody took a video of my last rap battle like last week. And it went viral.

“Holy shit! What?!” I press my forehead against the glass to get a better view of the screen. How does it have that many views already?!

I guess I never knew this was happening because the video description has me as “unknown girl”. I should be thankful, I guess, because then Shen would know I’m out here instead of training back at home.

“Wait,” I say, “How’d you find me? The video doesn’t give any deets.”

“Uh, well,” she pauses to bring up another video. It’s one from last night, with Evelynn and I going off on each other.

And me spray-painting her clothes.

“Oh, right.” Fuck. That doesn’t look good.

“Don’t worry,” she said, as if reading my mind, “You’re not the only one with a bad reputation now. Evelynn is also super duper embarrassed. But you can change that! You just have to join my group!”

I’m not sure what to say, so I don’t. She continues, “Look: people love you, Akali. And you’re definitely talented. You could do so well! I’m giving you the chance of a lifetime, aren’t you happy?”

I’ll be honest: I’m interested. But it’s not that simple. Leaving The Kinkou Order, Shen and Kennen, to go pursue this opportunity? Not to mention, that’s just gonna bring attention to me. And I mean, to be honest, this might be my chance to leave the Order. I’d still be an ex member I guess. It’s all I’ve known though. I was born into it. I planned on dying in it.

Hell, this stuff is too complicated all of a sudden.

“Why are you so hesitant?” she asked. She almost looked hurt.

“Look, Ahri,” I begin to say, “Your opportunity sounds....amazing.”

“Then, take it!”

“This isn’t that simple. I have a life, y’know? And I got people who depend on me.” Suddenly, I want to tell her all about The Kinkou Order, but I can’t. I shouldn’t. “I can’t just leave them.”

Ahri looks thoughtful for a moment, then says, “What if I pay your bail? I can get you out of here. We can escape our stuffy lives, we can choose to define ourselves and not be defined by our circumstances.”

“But my family--”

“I can make sure nothing happens.”

I grimace. “I dunno if you can really do that.”

She looks put off by that. “Alright,” she sighs, “It’s up to you. You can either rot here in prison or I can bail you out of all of this, the cell, your responsibilities, but you have to join my new girl group, K/DA.”

I’m at a loss for words again, but Ahri knows exactly what to say. “Akali, I can tell you want to rap for real. What’s keeping you back? Is it money? Is it your family? I can deal with both.”

I’m so close to spilling all my secrets, but I catch myself. “I can’t tell you.”

Ahri’s staring at me, hard, like she’s searching for my life story on my face. Are there really clues there? She’s like an empath, always knowing what to say. It’s disarming.

“Fine,” she finally admits, “I’ll let you sleep on it.”

She turns to the guard, away from the phone. I can’t hear what they say, but a notepad gets put in front of Ahri and a pen. She scribbles something down and then slides it to me.

“That’s my number,” she says, “Don’t post it on the internet or else I’ll sue you for all you’re worth.”

I stare at it, then say, “My, uh, older brother is coming to bail me out later today...I think.”

“That’s fine, I don’t care. Just, please, consider. I’ll bust you out if I have to.”

I can’t take my eyes off the paper.

“Fine,” I say. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Her face seems to brighten at this. “That’s great!” She’s already getting up from the desk before I can ask anything else, “I’ll hear from you tomorrow, okay?”

And then as suddenly as she came, she disappeared.


	2. Music/Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some want to stay silent until they know their music by heart. Others are born singing, ready for the world to know how they feel.

My father always told me that practicing in complete silence was just as important as practicing along to the music, that dancing is like clockwork; whether or not there is music, it should always be perfect, on the beat, on time.

But I always thought dancing was the opposite.

I felt like I could create the song with my body, and through my movements make the music come alive in a way that merely listening couldn’t do. It can be spontaneous and impulsive and raw. Like a sonata for the eyes, I would think, but it would become a poem that my father would never allow me to write on my own.

“Again, Kai’Sa. Start again from the top.”

“Yes, Papa.”

  
  


Shen picked me up a couple hours after Ahri left. I was waiting for his lecture but the drive home was relatively silent at first.

When the car stopped at a red light, he said, “I hope you learned your lesson, Akali.” There is it.

“Uh-huh,” I mumbled.

“You know why you shouldn’t interfere in dangerous Order business like that?”

“Uh-huh.”

“But you’ll do it anyway?”

“Uh-huh--hey, wait.”

Shen chuckled and drove on green. Any other day I would’ve shot back. A day ago I was all fired up, ready to let Shen have a piece of my mind. Now? I didn’t really care.

“You are uncharacteristically silent right now, Akali. Want to tell me what’s on your mind?”

That almost got under my skin. But I couldn’t pay attention to that right now.

I had bigger fish to fry.

  
  


Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

“Again, Kai’Sa.”

Again.

Again.

Again.

“Yes, Papa.”

I can’t help but have the feeling that my skeleton is playing puppet to my muscles, pulled by the marionette master in my brain.

But who is the master?

“Your free leg was limp and lifeless that time, Kai’Sa. Do it again.”

“Yes, Papa.”

I have spent many hours in the quiet void of an empty practice room. It would be completely silent if it weren’t for the metronome tick, tick, ticking, and for my Papa.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

“Now, you were too stiff. Again.”

Again and again, I dance the same dance.

Again and again, he tells me to keep going.

I don’t dislike him. I love my Papa. He looks out for me. He wants only the best.

My Papa was a ballet dancer in his prime. Now he’s my private coach. We spend hours and hours each day on technique, preparing for auditions and performances. I lost my Mama a long time ago when I was too young to understand how. But my Papa knows. He says I should dance in her honor, so I do.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

“Again.”

I love my Papa. But I am tired. I am only 16 and yet there’s so much I don’t know about life. I never got my driver’s license. Papa drives me everywhere. I’ve never gone to a school dance. I’ve only been homeschooled. I feel like I have accomplished so little and yet people tell me I have accomplished so much, at such a young age. Joining a traveling ballet in my early teens, becoming a Prima Donna ballerina at 16, all thanks to the care of my Papa.

He has given me so much. But as much as I love ballet, I want to see the world. I want to see beyond the stage, where the audience comes from. I want to learn a new dance, maybe a dance of my own and I can do it as much as I’d like.

No matter how much I want to, I can’t stop now. I would put all of his effort to waste.

I know I shouldn’t be ungrateful.

But maybe just this once?

No. I have to remind myself, no.

There is nowhere else for me to go but here.

  
  


I don’t wanna think right now.

As soon as we get back to the Kinkou Order dojo, I go right to my room and blast the loudest shit I have. I shed my jacket so I’m down to just the tank top I wore from last night and I just let loose everything I got on the punching back hanging from the ceiling until I collapse in a sweaty heap on my bed.

I turn the music off so I can hear myself think.

Shen set it up because he’d thought it would help me learn to control my anger a little better. And I mean, it didn’t really, but it did give me something to wreck that wasn’t a celebrity’s car. Or dress.

Shen was right: I could do less harm if I just stayed in jail. Because right now, I’m in an even shittier position than I was before.

The thing is, everyone says they need me here. And by everyone, I mean Shen and Kennen, because as cheesy as it sounds they’re the most important people in my life right now. I think they rely on me in some way. Kennen, because he’s younger, looks up to me. Meanwhile, Shen probably thinks of me like his little sister or something.

I was his apprentice for a while. We all got along a few years ago. The three of us were an unstoppable trio. But when Zed killed our old leader and booted the Kinkou out of our old place, Shen had to take up his mantle. A friendship years in the making, dismantled in just a few months.

He changed. I changed too, and so will Kennen.

That’s the shitty thing. I feel like everyone is leaning on me, which was already their first mistake, and because of this I don’t got space to really do what I want. It’s like picking something from the bottom of the pile. It can all go to shit so easily.

Leaving them is gonna hurt, and honestly I don’t know who it’s gonna hurt more: me or them. I care for them, I guess. It changes from day to day. I’m not sure if I can say that I really do ‘like’ them right now. It’s complicated. It always is.

But, it’s not like The Order will collapse without me. I’m starting to realize I’m not into the way things are going anymore. Everything feels stifling. Even the people.

I think I need to get out.

Ugh, but is this really what I want?

I dig in my jacket pocket for Ahri’s number, not really knowing what I want to say.

  
  


This is so embarrassing.

“What’s with the disguise, Eve?” Ahri asks me. She doesn’t even look up from her phone, lounging comfortably poolside like she’s on vacation. I make sure to pull down my floppy hat even further and adjust my sunglasses so no one can even tell it’s me.

I’d. Rather. Die.

I bit my tongue to keep from snapping. “Isn’t it obvious? Like hell, I would show my face in public after what happened last night.”

“What, because everyone found out you’re not actually all that sweet and charming and instead you’re actually a huge bitch?”

It takes all my energy to not strangle her right there and then, even if she was my best friend.

“I’m just joking,” she says, “As your best friend, I have sworn to always speak my mind and tell you the truth!”

“Uh-huh,” I grumble. Breathe in. Breathe out. “I’m mad at myself,” I finally say, “It’s all that street mutt’s fault.

Ahri turned off her phone and set it aside. That’s how I knew she was getting serious. “Hey, cheer up. When we launch K/DA together in a few years we’ll all come back totally different. People won’t even remember the old us! We’ll get to be ourselves!”

I sighed and let my hands rest on my stomach. “I sure hope so, Foxy.” I turned to her and ask, “How’s your search for a rapper going? I can’t wait to meet her.”

Ahri phone rings and she practically jumps for it. “You might get to meet her in a bit!”

“Hello?” she says, “Oh, you’re out of jail now?”

I swear to god, Ahri always finds the weirdest fucking people to call her friends.

I wonder what that says about me.

“Uhm, how about we meet in an hour? Write down this address.” I listen to her say the address to her own apartment building. Dammit, Ahri! What if this girl’s crazy?! I shoot her a look but she waves me off.

“Okay, see you in a bit!”

She turns to me and says, “Go get ready, Evie! We’re gonna meet our new rapper in an hour!”

Good lord, what did she get us into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! <3 please check out my tumblr @eramia for more ways to support my writing, and @kdaweek to see all the submissions for K/DA Week!!


	3. Found/Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When we are not found by those we want to be found by, we feel lost. But it is when we are unexpectedly lost that we find our found family.

“Akali? Akali, it’s me, Shen.”

No response. I try knocking again.

“Akali. Open this door.”

Her door’s lock is broken so it doesn’t lock properly. I still try to respect her privacy, but now I have cause for worry. I open it. She is not there.

I sigh and make a difficult choice not to go after her, wherever she’s gone. I don’t know what I’m going to do with this girl.

She is a lost cause.

  
  


I managed to hitch an Uber to the address Ahri gave me. It led me to some fancy apartment place with gates and security. I definitely stick out. She expects me to go in there?

I hear a familiar voice call my name again. When I turn, Ahri’s head is sticking out of a limo car. She waves me closer and slowly I walk toward her, unsure if this is a dream or something.

“Ugh, you again!”

Oh, hey, it’s the bitch from yesterday, sitting with Ahri.

“Hi Akali,” Ahri greets me, seemingly oblivious to the red-hot tension between me and the diva.

“Hey. So, I need to talk you about your deal, uh,--”

“Come inside! We can talk on the way.”

“On the way?” I ask, “Where are we going?”

“Yes, Ahri, where are we going?” Evelynn chimed in. Damn, she doesn’t know either? This Ahri is a wildcard.

“I’m taking you two to meet someone really important. She’s our last bandmate!”

“Hey, hold up,” I stop her, “This band thing is what I came to talk to you about.”

She turns to me, still light and bubbly, “What about it?”

“I…” Even Evelynn’s turning to me now, cocking an eyebrow. I almost didn’t recognize her with the new glasses and different hair color, but I could tell that voice from a crowd. “I can't join.

“Oh, thank god,” Evelynn melodramatically sighs.

“Eve, be nice,” Ahri insists, but it doesn’t seem like she’s getting through to her. She turns to me, leaning her forearms on the lowered window and resting her chin. She almost looks like she’s pouting. Even her ears move, I thought that shit was fake!

“Is it because you won’t, or you can’t?”

I don’t know how to respond.

I...I think I want to? I’ve been trying to get Shen and my mom in The Order to listen to me for so long. I didn’t realize I never really got to do what I wanted. There wasn’t an I in team, y’know? And everything we did was to take care of each other.

No. Now I gotta take care of myself.

“It’s, uh, complicated…”

Ahri nodded. “Get in the car.”

“Uh, what?” Her serious tone didn’t match her “cutesy” face.

“You heard me,” she said, “Get in the car, we can talk about it on the way.”

“Um...okay.”

Weirdly enough, I got in. I’m not sure what it was that moved me. I guess I just didn’t really care where it was she took me. As long as it wasn’t here.

Ahri asked the chauffeur to drive us to this performing arts center downtown. I start getting a little confused.

“Hold up, dude, I just said I can’t do it. I can’t perform.”

Ahri giggles. “We’re not performing, silly! We’re going to see a performance.”

“What sort of performance?” Evelynn asks. Wow, Ahri really didn’t tell her shit, huh.

She cheerfully puts her hands together and tells us, “A ballet!”

  
  


A lot of people think that in a production as big as this, there are countless makeup artists and people dotting over you. But the truth is, I do my own makeup, and my own hair. I get already all by myself.

Normally, all the other ballerinas get ready in a room together, but my father ordered to have a special dressing room for me. I get ready all by myself.

I hear the door open behind me and see his reflection in my mirror peeking through the doorway. “Almost ready, darling?”

“Yes, papa.”

“Good. I will be in the front row watching you.”

I put down my setting powder and smile politely. “Thank you, papa.”

  
  


“So, uh, yeah. That’s my ‘sitch’.”

I just finished explaining to Ahri my home life and my family. I told her I was in a street gang, I told her about my mom and the title I expected to inherit from her, about my mentor Shen, my mentoring of Kennen, everyone looking to me for reliability, me looking to everyone for guidance. I think the truth is since Master Kusho died, we’ve all been lost.

Ahri listened attentively. Evelynn was hard to read with her glasses, looking out the window the whole time. I could see her earphones on her lap. I guess Ahri wouldn’t let her use them as a sort of unspoken rule.

“I’m sorry,” Ahri finally said when I was done, “I had no idea, or else I wouldn’t have barged in making a deal.”

“It’s fine. We’re supposed to be a secret.” I think about what Zed said last night, that secrets are weapons wasted. I don’t know how to feel about that. Secrets are like picking what you thought was a thornless rose only to realize your hand is bleeding. You have no idea what you’re going to get.

“I thought I could save you when I offered to bail you from jail,” Ahri continued. It was surprisingly heavy, coming from a bubble-gum pop star. “I thought you were a delinquent or something, a very talented delinquent stuck in a life of crime and I could save you from it. But that was wrong and privileged of me. I’m sorry, Akali.”

I’m sorta at a lost for words at this point. “It’s fine,” I tell her, sounding like a broken record. Evelynn said nothing this whole time. I figured she wasn’t listening anyway.

“Now I know that saving someone from family is tougher than bailing someone out of jail!”

“Uh, say that again?”

Ahri’s mood switched one-eighty. Now she was lively and free-spirited again, like none this had happened at all. Evelynn stayed the same.

The car stops outside this modern building with hella tons of steps. It’s got those fancy mirror windows so you can’t see inside, but it’s several stories tall.

“We’re here!” Despite sitting in the middle, Ahri practically crawls over me to get out, trying to cheer us up with, “C’mon, crew! We got a dancer to meet!”

Her crew, however, didn’t want to be there, for whatever reason. She must’ve known that and that’s why she was trying to hype us up. Evelynn got out the car and didn’t even hold the door for me. I was the last one out, sort of falling behind.

“Yo, wait a sec. I didn’t say I would join your group, Ahri. I’m sorry.”

She didn’t even turn to look at me as she led us on. “Don’t worry about that. Right now I don’t need your rapping skills. I need your ninja skills!”

Oh, jeez.

Is she doing what I think she’s doing?”

  
  


I doubt Akali knows what’s going on. Her single brain cell is probably bouncing around in her head like one of those old DVD screen savers. Maybe she gets a coherent thought when it hits the corner.

Which is impossible, by the way.

“Ahri is dragging us along on a negotiation, if you couldn’t tell,” is what I want to say to her, yet for some reason, I can’t bring myself to do that. I can hardly say anything to her. It’s like all my fire, all my anger and resent for her seemed to die out after that car ride. I never even thought I’d see her again, less so hear her life story.

I didn’t realize I was lost in thought. By the time I look up from the floor I see that Ahri is leading us backstage. How did we even get in here? Perhaps Foxy turned on her popstar charm, or the roguish rapper snuck us in. I didn’t notice either one.

We pass what feels like hundreds of identical ballerina dancers until we reach a specific door with the word, “Kai’Sa”, plastered on in a white sheet of paper. Or is it a name? It’s one I’ve never heard of.

Ahri knocks, all nonchalant, on this door like she knows the person.

“Come in,” says a feminine but dull voice.

She comes in like a hurricane of her own. Akali and I follower behind her.

The ballerina looks surprised, rather shocked.

“Kai’Sa! So great to finally meet you!” Ahri says cheerfully. You’d think she’d know how to read a room. Maybe she does know, but she chooses not to acknowledge it.

“Um, hello,” Kai’Sa says.

Ahri goes up to her and takes her hands into hers. “I’ve come with a business proposition. I want you to become the lead dancer for my new girl group, K/DA!”

The poor girl looks so pitifully lost. “Oh, um...I’m sorry, you haven’t told me your name?”

That definitely takes the wind out of Ahri’s sails. “What?! You don’t know who I am?!” She turns to us as if we would share the same disbelief. “She doesn’t know who I am!” she cries. Akali just shrugs. I say all I need to with a cocked brow.

Ahri sighs and introduces herself, very sadly. “My name is Ahri, I’m a famous pop star! I’ve heard about you and your beautiful dancing. I was hoping you could come dance with me.”

Ahri can be genuine when she wants to, or needs to. That’s not to say she isn’t always genuine. She’s smart than she looks but she’s an airhead as well. A dumbass with a heart of gold. People like her are rare nowadays.

Kai’Sa looks confused, sad, everything all at once. “I’m...I’m sorry--”

She doesn’t get the chance to finish when her dressing room door swings open.

“You three! What are you all doing here, distracting the prima ballerina?”

It’s a man I don’t recognize. Maybe her coach or something? He seems to care a lot about her. Angry, rightfully so.

Nevertheless, Ahri glides up to him and shakes his hand. “Sir, my name is Ahri and I’ve come to recruit your daughter to join my girl group! She’s a wonderful dancer…”

Now she’s laying on the charm, but this man doesn’t seem to be having it.

“Kai’Sa will be doing none of the sort. Her place is here, with me, her father. She’s a professional ballerina, not just a dancer like you three.”

Dancer? Nothing wrong with being a dancer.

I already hate this man. Asshole.

Thank goodness he’s not my father.

Ahri looks put-off as well. “But sir--”

“Get out, right now, or I’ll call security!”

While Ahri looks discouraged, I place a hand on her shoulder, saying, “Let’s go, Ahri.” To him, I say, “Apologies for interrupting.” Bastard.

I lead a complaining Ahri and a frustrated Akali throwing up pairs of middle fingers out of the dressing room.

I hear that man’s booming voice through the dressing room door as we leave.

  
  


Ahri makes us sit through this long-ass ballet performance anyways. It’s like, what, two and a half hours long, she says? Maybe three? Man, fuck that.

But because I dunno how to get home from here and I don’t got enough money to pay an Uber to drive me back that far, I guess I’m stuck here. And anyways, I can see why Ahri wants to bust that poor girl out of here. Her dad sucks balls.

Ahri is sitting in between Evelynn and me, pouting and complaining to both of us. “This is just not fair! How could her dad do that to her? She’s clearly stifled in this place. We gotta bust her out.”

“I don’t know, Ahri, what if she’s happy here?” Evelynn asks. “You heard her father, she’s a professional ballerina. Dancing is her passion.”

You could see Ahri’s face change like a lightbulb went off. “She may be a professional ballerina, but we got ourselves a professional delinquent right here!”

I was trying to pay attention to the show, because why not, what else was there to do, but it’s sorta hard to do that with two girls staring your way.

“What?”

Again, Ahri popped back to her usual self. “I have a plan!” she declared, and began to list it all out.

  
  


The three of us sat and watched the entire performance for what felt like all eternity. I wasn’t sure when I nodded off but I didn’t notice until Ahri woke me up for what she said was the final act. I didn’t realize it but I guess Evelynn fell asleep too because Ahri was shaking her awake as well.

The music is coming to a grand finish. This Kai’Sa girl really is amazing. She’s doing all these pirouettes on pointe non-stop. How is she not dizzy? How is she smiling through all that?

How did I get dragged along in all of this?!

The song always seems like it’s about to finish but then repeats again, and then, with a flourish, it’s finally over. You can see everyone breathing heavily as they maintain their final pose. The crowd stands for an encore. That’s when Ahri gives our cue to leave.

Apparently, according to her plan, me and Eve (can I call her Eve? Or will she kill me?) are supposed to go keep her out of the dressing room while Ahri intercepts her and we sneak her out while everyone is leaving. I dunno how we’re gonna make it past her dad, he’s got eyes like a hawk probably, but Ahri’s got a point about me.

I sneak around for a living. I think I can help them.

We sneak out while the crowd’s still roaring with praise. Ahri gets us backstage again. I nod to Evelynn and we break off toward her dressing room.

I have no idea what Ahri’s plan is, but I do have an idea.

“So my idea was, we lock her out and wait inside her dressing room. She’ll probably wait outside then for someone to unlock it. That’ll make it easier for Ahri to intercept her. Then after she grabs her, we follow suit.”

Evelynn mumbles something like, “I can’t believe we’re caught up in this crazy scheme.” I ignore it. No going back now.

I try the dressing room door. It’s locked, obviously. I pull out a lock pick and start patting myself down for a bobby pin. “Uh, you got a bobby pin?”

Evelynn doesn’t nod or deny. She simply pulls one out of her hair and I see her shake her waves down. She’s pretty. Seriously pretty. I don’t know why I’m noticing it now.

“Here.”

“Uh, thanks.”

Get back to work, Akali. I start picking the lock while Eve stands guard. I feel something give after fumbling about for a bit (I hadn’t done this in a while, give me a break!) and then we’re in.

We quickly enter the dressing room and shut the door behind us. There’s not turning lock on the door, only a keyhole.

“What do you suppose we do now?” she asks.

“Uh, we could barricade the door? She’s got a sofa.”

“And you think I can move it?”

I shrugged. “I probably can.”

Evelynn stepped back while I positioned myself by the sofa and pushed it long-ways in front of the door. Satisfied with my work, I collapse on the sofa.

“Well done,” Eve says.

I reposition myself so there’s more room and I pat the empty space next to me. “Come sit. It’s gonna be a while I think.”

“I hope not.” She doesn’t sit.

I lean back, spreading my legs out so I can stretch for a bit. Sitting for that long was a pain so I get it, but I’m also sorta lazy.

Evelynn is looking at Kai’Sa’s vanity when she says, “I’m sorry for what I called you before. A street mutt?”

“Huh?”

She’s looking over her shoulder at me, but her glasses make her unreadable. “I...I don’t like repeating myself,” she said. Sheepishly? That’s a first.

I sit up. “Hey, dude, it’s fine. It’s all good.”

She comes over and plops herself next to me. There’s still considerable space between us. “Having a family rely on you is hard. Having a controlling dad is even harder. Ahri and I...we wouldn’t know what that’s like. We were both foster kids. Becoming singers was a dream we wanted to achieve together.”

Shit. I had no idea.

“Shit. I had no idea.”

Evelynn scoffs but not in a mean way. “Of course. We wouldn’t look like it now, would we.”

The more I stare at her, the more I want to know what she’s thinking. I guess in a moment of craziness I forget myself. I reach over and lift up her glasses, past her eyes so they rest on her forehead.

She doesn’t fight or push me away or call me names. She tenses up for a moment, but mostly, she just looked surprised but she won’t even look me in the eye.

“You don’t have to pretend around me. I’ve seen shit. Hell, I’ve been a part of it.” I lean back again, folding my hands behind my head. “Having a family is tough. To be honest, I still don’t know if I can confidently say I love mine. They have their own issues, y’know? I can’t blame them for acting the way they do, but it hurts me and they won’t listen or change how they act. So it’s like, what am I supposed to do? I feel trapped, y’know.”

Evelynn doesn’t take my cue to relax. She sits with perfect posture, legs crossed, hands folded on top her knee. She only nods.

“Do you...feel lost?” she asks quietly.

“...Yeah.”

That must’ve been her breaking point. She sighs, shakily, and leans back, rubbing her eyes with her hands and breathing through her mouth. Her arms fall weakly beside her.

“Ahri thinks she’s gonna save us all with this girl group of hers. But being a pop star is hard work on its own. Are we just exchanging one jail cell for another?”

“Man,” I say, staring at the ceiling, “I dunno. I wish I could tell you.”

We hear a knock at the door and we jump. Evelynn and I stare at each other, speechless.

“Um, room cleaning service! Please wait a minute!” Evelynn shouts in a falsetto.

“Oh, uh, okay,” we hear Kai’Sa respond.

I can barely hold my laughter in. I see Evelynn cave too and then it’s just us two, snickering on a couch, barricading the door to a room we trespassed in.

It’s mid-laughter that Evelynn takes my hand.

“You’re funny,” I tell her, more quietly.

“I think...for once, I feel free.”

I don’t know who initiated it first. What started with sighs of content ended in this hot feeling and sudden quiet. She must’ve been taller than I remember, I could only see her mouth. I thought of her lips. They came closer and I let them. I let her.

Her breath barely touched me, tickled me, before I couldn’t take anymore and I pulled her in, bringing her body atop of mine. We fell into a fast rhythm of kissing, holding the touch of our lips, pulling away like ripping off a bandaid. I felt her suck on my bottom lip, pulling my face closer to hers as if we could be any closer. It quickly got sloppy; loud, wet, sucking noises after each kiss. At one point, tongues got involved and I felt saliva roll down my chin, but Eve didn’t even give me a chance to stop and clean myself up. It was all just a matter of wanting to feel closer, to melt into each other and know nothing else but us. Who would’ve thought that we’d go from being at each other’s throats to, well...being at each other’s lips.

It wasn’t my first kiss, but, it was the first one to make me feel that way.

Impassioned is the word I think.

You know how your lungs feel after you almost drowned? Like they were just desperately screaming for oxygen. And how good it feels when they get that first taste of air after all this time going without it?

Yeah. That’s what it was like.

  
  


There she is!

I almost missed her in all the dancers coming back. They all look the same! Thankfully, Kai’Sa had her own costume but it was like finding a needle in a haystack, only every needle was dressed up like a beautiful doll and Kai’Sa was the most beautiful. So nothing like finding a needle and instead trying to find the prettiest girl, which is hard because they’re all the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen.

Anyways, you get my point.

She was waiting outside her dressing room. Easy enough!

“Hey, great job out there!” I tell her. Poor thing jumped when she heard my voice. Oops! Too loud.

“Thank you, um…” she lowered her voice, “What are you doing back here? If my father finds you, he’ll kick you out for sure!”

“Come with me,” I told her. I take her hands again, for dramatic effect, of course.

Her face stiffens a little. “I can’t,” she whispered, “My father wouldn’t--”

“Forget what your father thinks! What do you wanna do?”

“I...I can’t. There will be consequences and...I...I don’t want to hurt him.”

Hurt him? How about how he’s hurt you? I wanna say that but...I get it, I guess.

But I don’t wanna back down! We’ve come this far. I really, really wanna make this work.

“Kai’Sa,” I say, “You need to do what’s best for you. You’re sixteen, you’re gonna be an adult soon, you want your dad running your life forever?”

She doesn’t say anything, but security does!

“There she is,” her father cries, “Take her out!”

Ooh, this is just like an action movie!

I got Kai’Sa in my hands and I take off running, dragging her along. I can barely feel her tugging behind me. I don’t think she’s resisting, but that doesn’t mean she’s coming along willingly.

“Run, Kai’Sa,” I shout behind her, “Run with me! We’ll run away together and dance the way we want!”

That sure did something. It must’ve because suddenly I was being led by the ballerina, into the parking lot.

“There!” I pointed at the limo and we rushed for it, security at our heels. The chauffeur quickly unlocked the car as we approached and we jumped right in.

“Move, move, move!” I commanded. Aaaahhh, this was so cool! We’re definitely in an action film now!

Following my lead, the limo pulled out and drove out the parking lot faster than normal. This isn’t exactly the best sort of get-away car but at the moment, it worked!

I sat back with a sigh. We were on the road now. Everything had gone exactly to plan.

“Excuse me, didn’t you have two other girls with you?”

Scratch that. Almost exactly to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH THE FINALEEEEE
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!! Please, if you liked this story, spread the word on tumblr and twitter and @ me (@eramia and @mamaeramia respectively).
> 
> If you enjoyed this, please check my tumblr bio for ways to support me! I appreciate it greatly! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> This is my submission for the first day of K/DA WEEK!! Please go check out @kdaweek for more info on the prompts for each day! I'm only participating in three as that's all I have time for. See you all on the 24th with another chapter involving Music/Silence! <3


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